I don’t seem to have anything of import to say this morning. I just want to connect with myself in a quiet way. Why do I always question what I want to do, ask if I am allowed to do it? That isn’t helping things. It is very pleasant when I just talk to myself quietly.
I love the way Nora Ephron can cook. I would love to cook with that kind of ease. I make things difficult for myself. I always feel there is something complicated and involved in doing human things. Do I have to believe that it is so? What is the simple way to think about doing something, anything?
Just do. Just see the thing for itself not as this thing that will make my life significant. Even though I feel invisible I don’t need to do anything to be significant. I am. I am enough for myself with no thought for how it plays to someone else. I matter more than anyone (outrageous thought). They matter more to themselves. To come home to myself and observe my desires and enjoyments—my own happiness makes life sweeter for me.
What I judge is only what I’ve concluded, not what may have actually happened. I will conclude what is in favor of my peace of mind. I will be here one tiny a bit of moment after one tiny bit of moment. All quite manageable. I’ll do that today. Oh, I wish I didn’t have to be good.